Why am I always the bad guy?

Well, Chelsea has spring break in march, and we were talking about me visiting during it. But her mom doesn't think it's a good idea because she really doesn't know me. I guess I can understand why shes like that. She's just being a mom.

Ah well, we'll see what happens. I probably won't get to see her till summer time. But thats cool with me. Gives me more time to save up money, and get my license and stuff.

Brian and I might go to Anime Boston instead. It takes place that same weekend. So at least I might be doing something fun. :P

Eh, Same old same old.

Work is work. Though I found out that the older manager won't be coming back. So thats definitely a good thing. Because most of the current crew would have quit. So I probably would have. They make it fun to be there, so without them then I'd have no reason to keep working there.

So yeah.. >_>

Superbowl weekend. I don't remember too much of it.

I didn't drink. I just smoked a LOT of weed. >_>

I threw up. It was awesome. Brian named it Heraldo.



Sunday, I went to bed at nine in the morning, slept until 10:55 and then we went to the mall and to see Cloverfield. It was cool to get out and do something fun.

Bought two UFC shirts from Spencers, and then bought two shirts from Hot topic. Two CD's from Bestbuy.

I also asked Chelsea out on Saturday. And she said yes. So thats good.

Its going good so far.




Anyways.. My chest hurts. o.o

Yeah, it's all tight and uncomfortable.


I'm going to go for now. Probably touch my XBox for the first time in a long time.

:P

I don't want to go to work tomorrow.

Life is such an emotional roller coaster.

It definitely is.

Wow...





..Wow..






WOW.





.....WOW



I can't believe this.


HAHAHAHAHAh.




Apparently I cheated on Kyrsten while I lived there.

Apparently I didn't go home right away when I left. Nope.

Apparently I stayed for four days at this girls house, and then went home.

Apparently I wasn't talking to Brian or my mom the whole time I was at Kyrsten's for he last few weeks.

Nope. Apparently I was talking to some girl.



This is all news to me.

No matter how hard I try..

I can't will this away..

Well.. I feel like shit.

Went home early from work today..

Probably won't be going in tomorrow.

Yeah..

-_-

Guess I should just give up.

I still have strong feelings for her. I do.

But I can't help but think it isn't going to happen again anyways.

Her family wouldn't want it.

I don't think she really wants it anymore either.






No one to blame but myself.

fuck it.

I don't know what the hell to do anymore.

if she wants it to be this way, then what the fuck ever.

fuck it.

It's hard to not want to talk to her.
I talked to her almost every day for nearly 2 years.
I just wish she'd confide in me more often.
I wish she would answer every time I call or text now.

It sucks.

I miss her so much.
I miss talking to her so much.

Just talking..

It hurts to know you're hurting.

And you won't let me try and make it better.

Can't we talk about this?

Eh..
I'm not really looking forward to Christmas.

It's not that big of a deal to me anymore.

My sister comes to visit on Saturday. So it'll be nice to see her. I think my mom and her plan to go to the mall, and I may go with them. Not sure yet.

Brian wants me to go over on Christmas Eve. I might. All depends on whats going on.

Anyways.. On the phone. Time to go.

(Let's stay together)

I, I'm so in love with you
Whatever you want to do is alright with me
Cause you make me feel so brand-new
And I want to spend my life with you

Let me say that since, baby, since we've been together
Loving you forever is what I need
Let me be the one you come runnin' to, I'll never be untrue

Oh baby, let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

Baby, whether times are good or bad, happy or sad

Why, somebody, why people break up
Oh, turn around and make up, I just can't see
You'd never do that to me (would you, baby)
Being around you is all I see
Here's what I want us to do

Let's, we oughta stay together (together)
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad
(Come on) Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

He's just so... ugh. I don't know.

I took a nap, and when I woke up my mom and my brother were fighting about something. I'm still not even sure what it was.

Hilary Clinton maybe?

Anyways, He just doesn't know when to shut up and walk away. My mom just wants to be left alone, and he keeps pacing back and fourth from his room to where my mom's computer is. Bitching and fighting. It could all be avoided if the stupid fucker just went into his room and shut the fuck up.

I don't need this shit right now. I'm already upset enough with my own shit, and I don't want to hear him yelling at my mom. I'm getting real sick of it.

He's lucky my dad isn't here, because he would crack his skull.

My mom is the ONLY thing keeping my brother from being HOMELESS. And he still has the balls to argue and yell at her over something stupid.


Fuck. I was sleeping good too.

Today wasn't so bad. I was tired when I woke up, even though I went to bed at like, 10:30ish or whatever.

My mom took me up most of the way to work, and dropped me off. I had to walk for a bit and free my ass off. Got inside, and I helped counter for a bit before I got thrown into the drive-thru register.

IT BLEW ASS.

It was so cold today, and I couldn't like feel my hands for the 4 hours I was there.


Buut, then e had a little Christmas party thing. I was kinda left out of that, because I hadn't been there when they gave out the secret santa list or whatever. I didn't get anything, but hey at least I got to eat some food. Bunch of people made shit and brought it in.

After that, time went by kinda fast.

Now I got tomorrow off, and I'm kinda tired right now. So I think I'll go take a nap here soon.












I love you. And I hope you're doing ok.

Work kinda dragged today.. Seemed like it took forever.

Maybe it was because I was so tired.. Couldn't fall asleep last night.. Didn't get to sleep till 3..

But after I got out Brian wanted to hang out to cheer me up or whatever. Went over for a few hours. I guess it helped a little.


I feel kinda sick right now though. Stomachs acting up. Not sure whether or not I'm going to work tomorrow. Unless I feel better in the morning.

It hurts so much.